'Excuse me M'am may i come in?' it took me a few seconds to realise the young girl dressed in the blue salwar was talking to me, i felt myself flush, and quietly said in response 'of course you may'. After the fourth time this occurred i thought to myself "Seriously I'm no lady of consequence", i stood lounged against the door frame and ushered the remaining ten children in with a quick wave of my hand, sat down in front of them and grinned like a Cheshire cat.
I am in adept at dealing with this kind of admiration and respect, though flattered i believe it is not warranted. Now i was the main spectacle, 'perform' a little voice in my head began to say. Hmmm i thought, every eye was now on me, so i began to sing. The only songs i know off by heart are from the musical Les Miserables, i remember growing up adoring this musical and suddenly from this ramshackle classroom, i transported twenty children, a teacher and myself to 1815, right into the heart of the French barricades.
I love music and song, because it transcends language, you do not have to speak in the same tongue to understand the sentiment and feeling behind the words. One's pain is another's relative understanding.
I began to think though i really know nothing of the pain of men, i know nothing of sacrifice, i know nothing of poverty, i know nothing of hardship, i know little of this world i am apart of. All i know is that i feel humbled to be here and i embrace everything about this city and its people.
"M'am please sit" said the gentleman in the blue flannel shirt, whilst pointing towards an empty seat in front of me. Unexpectedly a small silver sign engraved with red italics caught my eye, upon it was written "Ladies". How quintessentially English i thought there is a separate section for ladies on the train. It's curious the things that have survived the country's move to Independence . The behaviours of the people mar a bizarre culmination of English reserve and Indian eccentricity. How can i aliken such behaviour?
Imagine you began a conversation with a stranger and instead of beginning with 'Hello, how are you?' you began by saying 'goodbye it was lovely to meet you'. All the right words were said, the right level of politeness was conveyed, but the way in which it was put together was just utterly disorientating. There's something so familiar about Indian culture, as if parts of it stayed preserved, as if it were bottled in a jar and displayed in a museum for all to see, and then other times it appears so alien.
I find i difficult to comprehend so many of the daily images i store, sometimes without even a consciousness of how deeply they have affected me. It is not until the night, when i am deep in sleep do i begin to see the things that haunt me most about this city. I often wake drenched in a cold sweat, and fear to go back into a sleeping state, wondering what other horrors i have hidden there. It is not always this way, and though it perturbs me a little it does remind me that i am aware and constantly questioning, permitting me to be in anyway desensitized in this environment.
People often say experiences such as these have a great impact upon a individual, perhaps they can even prove to be life changing. I do not feel i will totally appreciate that until i return home, and the things i used to consider to be important will pale into insignificance. I can already feel though i have a better understanding of human nature, it's weaknesses and its strengths. I work in the area i do because i have a natural curiosity to be consistantly challenged and educated. Everyday i learn something new about a culture, that a couple of months ago was completely foreign to me, whilst also learning many new things about myself in context. I thrive for these experiences.
I am in adept at dealing with this kind of admiration and respect, though flattered i believe it is not warranted. Now i was the main spectacle, 'perform' a little voice in my head began to say. Hmmm i thought, every eye was now on me, so i began to sing. The only songs i know off by heart are from the musical Les Miserables, i remember growing up adoring this musical and suddenly from this ramshackle classroom, i transported twenty children, a teacher and myself to 1815, right into the heart of the French barricades.
I love music and song, because it transcends language, you do not have to speak in the same tongue to understand the sentiment and feeling behind the words. One's pain is another's relative understanding.
I began to think though i really know nothing of the pain of men, i know nothing of sacrifice, i know nothing of poverty, i know nothing of hardship, i know little of this world i am apart of. All i know is that i feel humbled to be here and i embrace everything about this city and its people.
"M'am please sit" said the gentleman in the blue flannel shirt, whilst pointing towards an empty seat in front of me. Unexpectedly a small silver sign engraved with red italics caught my eye, upon it was written "Ladies". How quintessentially English i thought there is a separate section for ladies on the train. It's curious the things that have survived the country's move to Independence . The behaviours of the people mar a bizarre culmination of English reserve and Indian eccentricity. How can i aliken such behaviour?
Imagine you began a conversation with a stranger and instead of beginning with 'Hello, how are you?' you began by saying 'goodbye it was lovely to meet you'. All the right words were said, the right level of politeness was conveyed, but the way in which it was put together was just utterly disorientating. There's something so familiar about Indian culture, as if parts of it stayed preserved, as if it were bottled in a jar and displayed in a museum for all to see, and then other times it appears so alien.
I find i difficult to comprehend so many of the daily images i store, sometimes without even a consciousness of how deeply they have affected me. It is not until the night, when i am deep in sleep do i begin to see the things that haunt me most about this city. I often wake drenched in a cold sweat, and fear to go back into a sleeping state, wondering what other horrors i have hidden there. It is not always this way, and though it perturbs me a little it does remind me that i am aware and constantly questioning, permitting me to be in anyway desensitized in this environment.
People often say experiences such as these have a great impact upon a individual, perhaps they can even prove to be life changing. I do not feel i will totally appreciate that until i return home, and the things i used to consider to be important will pale into insignificance. I can already feel though i have a better understanding of human nature, it's weaknesses and its strengths. I work in the area i do because i have a natural curiosity to be consistantly challenged and educated. Everyday i learn something new about a culture, that a couple of months ago was completely foreign to me, whilst also learning many new things about myself in context. I thrive for these experiences.
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